Stop with the wigs...

OK. So I have beef with Tyler Perry and his films. In a nutshell. THEY ARE NOT GOOD MOVIES. They're not. They are 1-dimensional shitastic films that somehow turn good actors into...[I think the line, "You will NEVER be William Cartwright" says it all]. Frankly, I am NOT a Tyler Perry fan. I've come to the conclusion after seeing Perry's last film, Madea Goes to Jail which included some terrible acting by Derek Luke's sexy self, the worst acting by Rudy Huxtable aka Keisha Knight-Pulliam (as a drug-using whore with perfect white beautiful teeth) and unbelievable plots [someone please tell me how you successfully cheat on the bar...hmmmm?].

Tyler Perry's heros/heroines are unfailingly good. His villians are unbelievably bad. There is no in between because apparently human beings are that see-through and simple. And God saves all.

*Disclaimer* My beef is with Tyler Perry NOT God. I just hate it when people put out these simpleton movies with a theme that if you just pray, all will be well. Frederick Douglass once wrote, "I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. " When I was in 8th grade I struggled with Pre-Algebra. I prayed for an A on my first test for weeks but proceeded to procrastinate studying until the night before. I got a 35--out of 100. Did God fail me? No. I failed me. Lesson? You can't bullsh*t God. Deliverance from abuse/drugs/whatever doesn't come from prayer. You ask God for guidance. You ask for strength. Courage. And then YOU get off you ass and make something positive happen.

Ok. Back to Tyler Perry. My first major issue is that Tyler Perry must think his audience [largely black people] are completely idiots. That's the only rationale I can think of for why his films lack all complexity and sophistication. In Why Did I Get Married? Jill Scott's husband has to laugh at her obesity, cheat with her "friend", and make her drive to Colorado from Atlanta in order to drive home the point that despite her being overweight, Jill is beautiful, worth more, and loved by God??? Okay. Maybe there are some husbands out there in America who are so cruel but the portrayal of the husband was just ridiculous. He was just mean. And cruel. And quite 1-dimensional. But its okay. Because Perry's lesson is God will deliver you from that 1-dimmensional man with a fine-ass, God-loving soap opera actor who will run with you so you can lose weight. Amen. In The Family That Preys Sanaa Lathan's character disrespects herself, her husband AND her mama for the love of a married man. Now, I know people do that everyday. But "You will NEVER be William Cartwright" didn't tip her husband off that she was cheating? The lightskin and light brown ringlets on the child didn't tip him off that the baby wasn't his? Perry made Sanaa Lathan [a beautiful and GOOD actress]'s character so ridiculously over the top that when her stupid ass husband finally realizes all her misdeeds and slaps the shit out of her, the audience cheers? Um. Ok?

Audiences are capable of more sophisiticated thinking. There are better ways to bring some of these issues to the forefront. Bad movies with cooning Madea isn't the only way. I believe Perry is capable of better. And if HE isn't capable of better, he owns his own film/television studio (the first African-American to do so) and therefore can greenlight projects by brilliant and creative writers/directors/producers who are just waiting for their chance.

And my last beef with Perry may seem petty, but I think it perfectly personifies why I will not be paying $$$ to see another Tyler Perry movie anytime soon---why do his male leads constantly wear shitty as wigs/hairpieces? Seriously. Why?

1. Shemar Moore in Diary of a Mad Black Woman: How did Tyler Perry manage to turn one of the sexiest men in America into THAT???? That wig is just bad. He has cornrows glued to his head! Why, Mr. Perry, why?! Shemar Moore should have refused to don this wig and the colorcoordinated bandanas he also wore in this movie. Or he should have made sure no still photographs of this movie made it to the internet. That's what Boris Kodjoe apparently did. There are ZERO upclose shots of Kodjoe and the shitty afro-wig he wore in Madea's Family Reunion. Thank God for the small things!

2. Tyler Perry in The Family That Preys: So what exactly was the point of Tyler Perry's character wearing this shitious hairpiece? Someone please explain it to me...is the lack of combing/styling/cutting of the hair supposed to make Perry as a bluecollar construction worker more believable? Or does Perry just like to tortue me???

3. Keisha Knight-Pulliam in Madea Goes to Jail: Granted, Rudy isn't a man or wearing a wig in this movie--I just have a question. And maybe this speaks to my ignorance and my stereotyping. Since when do whores FRESH of the streets and going through withdrawal have (a) Fresh relaxers and (b) the whitest most beautiful teeth EVER??? Forget nationalized healthcare...Ho-ing apparently has an outstanding dental plan.

Can we all just take a moment and (sigh) because Derek Luke is beautiful. (Why Derek went fron Antwone Fisher to this, I will never know.) And because God loves you...Derek Luke will help you get clean, get you out of jail and wife you despite the fact that you are a prostitute. Amen.