I love the South. Everything about the South. You name a negative thing about the South I'll counter with a positive. The South is my home sweet home. Especially the "dirty" South. You will never convince me that the deep South isn't one of the best places in the world. Never.
I am ashamed to admit I actually wasn't born in the South. I was born during my parents last year of residency. Akili entered this world @ 4:33 AM on Saturday, March 1, 1986 at Northside Hospital in Youngstown, Ohio. When I was 6 weeks old my parents wised up and we moved below the Mason-Dixon line to Louisville, Kentucky where I have my first memories. Louisville [pronounced Loo-a-vull no matter what Northerners try to convince you] is a magical city--home of the Kentucky Derby, Derby pie, the Louisville Slugger, and Muhammad Ali. Louisville is also the birthplace of Papa Johns pizza. Its also the place I developed my first Southern accent. My folks love to tell stories about how I used to whine and cry: "Daddy, she pulled my hair!" [pronounced herr a la Nelly] We lived on 4 acres of land that sat right on the Ohio River. The house was gorgeous--built in 1929 complete with a breakfast nook and maids quarters and a fenced in front porch! I loved everything about the Louisville house. We had a circular drive-way I used to ride my tricycle around and around and around. I learned how to ride a two-wheeler on our property and on muggy summer nights we'd go into the yard and catch lightening bugs and eat honey sickles. Ahhhh. Louisville was the life!
In the summer of 1996 we moved to Tuscaloosa, AL. Aside from the occasional summer trips to Georgia or Alabama to visit family, this was my first true experience with the deep South. Let me tell you, there's definitely a difference. While I learned to love it, the deep South isn't for the faint of heart. You've got to develop a thick skin to live down here. This was my first encounter with the Southern white boy. Boy, oh boy. The tight light-washed blue jeans. The Confederate Flag t-shirts. The requisite white boy hair cut [you know the one I'm talking about--with the bangs they can flip with the flick of their head]. I remember my first major crush was on a Southern white boy who today probably has a tattoo of "The south will rise again" or something like that. LOL. I'm serious.
Tuscaloosa is the home of the University of Alabama. Football is God. Paul "Bear" Bryant is Jesus. When you want to order a carbonated beverage you simply ask for a Coke--the waitress knows to list what kinds of Coke they have--Cola, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, etc. Tea is automatically iced and sweet unless you ask otherwise. My uncle Bobby lives in Hale County, Alabama--his profession? He runs a catfish farm and cures deer meat for the local hunters. His wife, my aunt Fannie, makes the BEST peach cobbler you will ever have in your life. No joke.
The deep South has its problems. This November, I went to vote and it was so crowded I couldn't even get a private little booth. I watched an elderly white woman rip up a ballot in which she had voted straight Democrat. She'd made a mistake. On her new ballot she individually voted for each Democrat running for office but then voted for John McCain over Barak Obama. That was a big blow. Things like the Jena 6 happen in the deep South. There are still segregated proms in rural Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Georgia. Interracial relationships are still taboo. Now this might sound weird, but I appreciate that. With the deep South you know what you're getting. You know a candidate like Obama isn't going to turn Alabama blue. You know that when the frat boys get drunk they're going to tell you how hot you are--"for a black girl" and look hungrily at your breasts. You KNOW these things and can behave accordingly.
The North likes to give the South a bad name. But Amadou Diallo, a black man was shot 41 times by "progressive" NYPD because they thought his wallet was a gun. The North has its problems with race, too. And its cold as hell. And they don't have sweet tea.
There are a few things I don't like or trust in life:
- A dancing man
- A SHEmotional man
- An "E-thug"
- Any place that doesn't have sweet tea
- Any person who doesn't like sweet tea
