To Mexico With Love.

"42."

 I'm a sucker for a biopic. Doesn't hurt the trailer uses Jay-Z/Santigold. I'm in for "42" and am excited to see this take on Jackie Robinson's story.

Tattoos & Consequences

So I got a new tattoo.

That I hate. Or at least I hate everything it stands for.

My oldest sister and I had been planning for a while to get matching tattoos. Because of our close relationship and the fact everyone says we look like twins (we don't) we decided to get "jumelle" the French word for twin.

Spur of the moment we get a design and head to the parlor. Sis decides to get hers on her rib cage. I want mine there too, but I hesitate. I'll have to lift up my shirt in public. Friends will see my stomach, which despite however many months of diet/exercise is still beyond out of shape. I sit silently feeling fat, unattractive and sad.

How am I still in this place?

So, I get the tattoo. On my left side. Under my collar bone. If I wear any scoop neck or vee neck shirt you can see it. I would have NEVER gotten a tattoo in this place. I wanted something discreet and private. But because of insecurity I am permanently[?] branded in a spot I didn't want.

Needless to say I'm sad and disappointed. I've been struggling with the same shit since forever. It's not getting better. I've followed my insecurity down many a wrong path...into toxic friendships, doomed relationships and now this ...

I've let the same self-worth problems get me into something that I can't get out of...at least without 6 to 12 laser removal treatments.

Oh boy.

Transitions.