Realest Thing I Never Wrote: Exam Edition

One of my girlfriends and favorite bloggers, Sesh sent me this screen cap of her computer background, it says: "We are going to make it through this year if it kills us..." Now that TRULY is the REALEST thing I never wrote. Nice to know I'm not in the grind alone...

Now back to this Decedents' Estates. Note to all my readers: MAKE A DAMN WILL. Intestacy rules (when someone dies without a will) are stupid...and a bitch! Help out the lawyer who has to deal with it and keep your family from fighting--EXPRESS YOUR WISHES ON A PROPERLY EXECUTED WILL. :law student rant over:

Kids do the darndest things

Wow. I haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks which for me is a loooooong time. I knew it was time when Sesh tweet'd me and was like "um can you start blogging again." Until I read her tweet, I had kinda forgotten I even have "readers" out there in the universe. I truly keep this blog for purely selfish reasons. Essentially no "Akili Means Wisdom" and Akili would be even CRAZIER than she already is [ha! imagine THAT].

I'm back home from a wonderful winter vacation with the family in California. I had a phenomenal time. I spent a night in my FAVORITE city in the world, San Francisco, saw Ledisi, a fabulous jazz/soul singer in concert, and spent a day in Napa Valley. When I got home, I stepped on the scale and saw I gained 6 pounds of pure WINE. My family is a bunch of lushes I SWEAR and all they drink is wine...so yeah. Tomorrow begins the diet which basically means being conscious of what I put in my mouth [restarting my food journal] and more water, less alcohol.Plus, I'm returning to the gym with a VENGEANCE.

I didn't really make any "resolutions" this year. Well---I just want to be BETTER. I want to actively work at being better in ALL aspects of my life. A better daughter/sister/friend/student/etc. Over the break I spent a lot of time with my baby cousins who are essentially my nephews. They are Kayade (Kai) (age 4 months), Jasiri (age 3--almost 4), and Khyri (age 9). Being around the boys really put my life into perspective.

1. Motherhood MAY BE overrated: I used to think I wanted a bunch of kids. I come from a family w/ 4 kids and I love love love having siblings. We always have a blast together--ready made friends. I always thought I wanted 3-5 kids. Yeah. I'm not sure I want ANY now. I spent the first week of my winter vacation essentially babysitting the various kids. Kai aka the CUTEST BABY EVER is a sweetheart, but a baby can only spit up on you, scream, and shit so much before you begin to wonder, "Um where the HELL is your mother??" I love being with Kai. I'm so happy he's in our family, but I would look at him and think, "Yeah, definitely not ready for THAT!" Same with the other boys. Kids are a handful and while at one time it was something I couldn't see my life WITHOUT, I now almost can't see my life with it. My grandfather got "sad" when I told him I was "straight on kids". Me, I'm not sad at all. I'm happy I know what I want (or don't want) instead of jumping into some bullshit with the WRONG PERSON just to fulfill some archaic notion that I MUST be a mother.
2. Its time to grow up: Being around the kids put it into perspective that I'm not a "kid" in the family anymore. I'm an adult. Its time to get my shit together...like how about, oh I don't know: being fiscally responsible? I am really lucky in that my parents supplement my living and save me ~$8,000/semester in student loans. But I need to spend my money more wisely. I need to just be more conscious of what I spend/save. Its time to be a big girl! That also means taking care of myself physically--eating in more often [saves $$$ and its healthier], keeping my apartment clean [that's going to be a TOUGHY: I've been messy my ENTIRE LIFE], staying organized [I purchased a nifty smart phone to help with that one] and just doing "grown up" things--whatever those are.
3. You don't have to lie to kick it: Khyri is at that stage where he does stupid shit and then lies about it. He'd lie about the dumbest stuff and his dad would get really frustrated. Sometimes I think he'd repeated the lie so much he believed it to be truth. His little 9 y.o. lies showed me how silly and detrimental dishonesty can be. This year I want to be more honest with myself about the things I want/fear/expect/like/dislike/etc. I think this will in turn help me be more honest with the people around me--help me be more open because I'm beginning to feel like I'm shut off from others. I want to be more open and approachable in 2010. 
   

If you ever wanna see the world from a new vantage point look at it through the eyes of a child. They will truly show you something different. I'm excited for 2010. A new year. A new decade. I swear I'll get back to blogging interesting things. But nothings really happened yet. Stay posted all you "readers" :) 

with my middle finger up...

I was browsing Billboard.com like I usually do [IDK why, but I love keeping up with album sales--just the pop culture junkie in me] and I noticed that for like the 4th week in a row Susan Boyle's album is STILL number one. The woman cannot be stopped. She outsold EVERY major album that has come out in November/December of this year. Susan Boyle's CD was released the same day as Rihanna's Rated R. I purchased RiRi's album. Left Susan Boyle's on the shelf.

A lot of people don't like post-beating Rihanna (or as I call her nuRihanna). While I'm still not too sure about the details of what happened between Chris Brown and Rihanna in that car, I, unlike millions of others, accept that its none of my damn business. All I know is that post-beating Rihanna is, as Sesh would say,  a "boss bitch" [FYI--Sesh, I've totally added that phrase into my vocab along with "Oh word?"] As Rihanna's song "Rockstar 101" proclaims she just doesn't GIVE A F*CK and I kinda love it.

Rated R reminds me of Christina Aguilera's Stripped or even Janet Jacksons Velvet Rope albums. Its completely different from anything Rihanna has EVER done before. Its bold. Its vulgar. Its nasty. Its angry. Its vulnerable. Its fun. Maybe this is who Rihanna really is/always has been. Maybe this is just a phase a 21-year-old woman has to go through after her boyfriend beats the sh*t out of her. Either way, there's something about nuRihanna that I admire. She says things I've always wanted to say. She does things I've always wanted to do...

When I'm upset I retreat. When nuRihanna is upset she comes out GUNS BLAZING. She doesn't share her rage only within the confines of a blog. She cuts her hair into a shiteous mohawk, dyes the shit blonde, and puts her middle finger in the air. She wears highly inappropriate outfits on morning television and sings lyrics like: "I lick the gun when I'm done, because I know that revenge tastes sweet." NuRihanna is that part of me deep down inside that just wants to cuss people out and blow this bitch up. She doesn't care. And there's power in that.

I'm spending the holidays with my parents and extended fam. They enjoy telling stories about what a well-behaved child I was--yeah, I'd whine/cry if someone hurt my feelings but for the most part I'd curl up with a book and be quiet. NuRihanna doesn't read books, she gets shitfaced and dances her ass off. I admire that about her. I know, in reality every woman must have a balance between nuRihanna and a responsible woman, but sometime I feel like I lack a little nuRihanna in my life. Every 23-year-old needs some reckless abandon in their lives. I'm going to find mine in 2010.

Here's a look at nuRihanna's latest video, "Hard" feat. Young Jeezy from Rated R:

Shorty got class...oh behave.

I think if you've read any one of my posts its been established that I am a certified nerd-geek. I am. I admit it. I'm damn'd proud of it. I bring this up to say some of my favorite blog posts to read are about what people are doing with their lives academically. My best-blog-friend [new title for Sesh cause her blog kicks ASS and makes me think she's sitting in my living room telling me all these stories] is in what sounds like this AMAZING social work program in NYC. It sounds academically challenging but also challenging on a personal level. Reading about her social work exploits makes me wish I really could be a student professionally because SO MANY PROGRAMS sound so AMAZING

Sidenote: As I type this post I'm sitting in the law school and I'm supposed to be finishing up my 25-paged paper on anti-miscegenation laws for race, racism, and the law. Don't judge me.

So, on the off chance that people are interested in knowing about MY academic program, I've decided to write a bit about law school [a post that is NOT me bitching about law school]. So this morning I woke up @ 6:55 AM to register for Spring classes. Registration opens up @ 7 AM and I wanted to ensure I got into all the classes I wanted [again. I know I'm a loser]. I am happy to report I did get all my classes [and I just learned via Twitter that me and Frank are taking Crim Pro together. YAY!] but it was only 14 hours and I needed to take at LEAST 15 so that Spring of my 3L year I can *chill*. So I added a "mini-course" that will run from Jan. 20-Feb.24 of 2010.

Here's a look at my schedule:

I'm pretty excited about my schedule. Honestly, 2L year of law school kicks 1L years ASS. We finally get to study some of the stuff we WANT to study and I've taken some really interesting courses [see Race, Racism, and the Law which has taught me that apparently I'm militant and think EVERYTHING is racist!]. In addition to 14 hours of course work, I'm also doing an externship with a judge next semester. I'll get to spend a lot of time in the courtroom observing attorneys but perhaps even more interesting seeing things from the judges perspective. I'm super pumped about spending Friday's in the courtroom! [Eeek.]

Law school can be very draining. I spend more time at 101 Paul Bryant Drive than I do in my own home. I eat here. Sometimes watch TVhere [thank God for the internet]. This place is my life. But its days like today [when I make my schedule] that make me happy to be here. Its honestly a blessing. School, to be honest, as always been a cakewalk for me. Some people can sing. Others can dance. I do school. Its my "talent". But law school is HARD. I don't think I can put into words how "challenging" this shit is. Seriously. I usually cry regarding school at LEAST once a week. But the insane thing is I love it. I know I made the right decision in coming to law school. And THAT keeps me going when the competitiveness or the difficulty of my classes get to me.

In the past 18 months I've learned so much about myself and what I'm capable of. That excites me. So yeah. Now that I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy about school, I need to finish this damn paper!

My Song of the Moment

My favorite blog to read belongs to my girlfriend from college Seshie. I like to read it because its very HER. Reading her blog very much so feels like a conversation we'd have in person. Its refreshing. Anywho, one of the things she blogs about are songs that have reached "five star status" on her playlist. I rarely take the time to rate songs on my iTunes playlist--maybe I should, but this song "So Ambitious" from Jay-Z's Blueprint III is quickly becoming one of my favorites...Maybe it will inspire me to keep my ass in the gym and head in the books (sigh)...

Motivation for me, is them telling me what I could not be
Oh well

I felt so inspired by what the teacher said
Said id either be dead or be a reefer head
Not sure if that’s how adults should speak to kids
Especially when the only thing I did was speak in class
Ill teach his ass
Even better what my uncle did
I popped my demo tape in start to beat my head
Peeked out my eye, see if he was beatin’ his
He might as well said beat it kid,
He’s on the list
It’s like im searching for kicks
Like a sneaker head
You gon’ keep pushing me til I reach the ledge
And when I reach the ledge, I tellem all to eat a dick
Take a leap of faith and let my eagle wings spread

Motivation to me, is them telling me what I could not be, oh well
Im so ambitious, I might hit two sisters,
Hey im on a mission, no matter what the conditions
Fuck the personal issues, when u go what I been thru,
hey, if you believe it, then you can conceive it


Had to lace up my boots, even harder
Father is to far away to father
Further, more of the kids either
Smoke reefer or either move white
Theres few writers, in my cipher
So they made lighter, my type of
Dreams seen to them, they said wise up
How many guys are? You see making it from here
The world don’t like us, is that not clear, alright bruh
Im different I cant face what im gon’ be, or
For what everybody isn’t, they don’t listen
Just whispering behind my back, no vision,
Lack of ambition, So Wack!

Motivation to me, is them telling me what I could not be, oh well
Im so ambitious, I might hit two sisters,
Hey im on a mission, no matter what the conditions
Fuck the personal issues, when u go what I been thru,
hey, if you believe it, then you can conceive it

Had a couple of meetings, no office yet
Maybe I aint good enough for these offices
Back to the drawing board, ducking officers
Its all good cuz the streets, is saying ?
So with or without any of your involvement
We coming for all of this, respect my conglomerate
I went from pauper to the president, cuz every deal I ever made said precedent
Niggas probably thought a 4 without 0 buddy, oh Buddy
What I do is make more money
Dear teacher, you probably somewhere speaker
Im balling out of control, can you hear my sneakers?
Fuck yall!!

Motivation to me, is them telling me what I could not be, oh well
Im so ambitious, I might hit two sisters,
Hey im on a mission, no matter what the conditions
Fuck the personal issues, when u go what I been thru,
hey, if you believe it, then you can conceive it