I Passed.

I am officially. Legally. An attorney. With a license. To practice the law. 

Freeeeeeeedom

The Bar is over. I'm free. 

8 days til the Bar: Stream of Consciousness

1. I'm shocked that I'm not crying daily. Shocked. 
2. I dyed my hair RED. But luckily that depression black I was rocking before kept it from being Rihanna-clown-red.
3. I've given up bras. You can't make me wear one. 
4. But I wear earrings and mascara daily. Gotta remind myself I'm a lady. 
5. I start my job in less than a month. 
6. They'll probably fire me for this red hair. Not dying it back though.
7. I'm quite thankful to TN for combining larceny, embezzlement, and false pretenses into one crime: Theft
8. I had to remind myself why I can't get whiteboywasted at 8:30 AM on a Tuesday (Hi, my name is Akili...)
9. This morning I was running around the house naked doing a "sexy dance" to Rihanna's Rude Boy. There was absolutely nothing sexy about this dance and my sister's dog definitely gave me the sideeye. Bitch. 
10. I'll probably cry when I finish this test next week. I'll cry. Hard. 

Everything in moderation

I had this boyfriend in high school. The "love of my life" (aka the first boy to really show me any attention) and after he decided he was interested in me, we were inseparable.  Connected at the hip, mouth, hand--you name it. For months: always together (this was boarding school after all). When he went to play a pick-up game with the boys, I'd tag along and watch from the bleachers. [This story is really mortifying in hindsight. I was such a clingy-loser] And then in the Spring semester, not even one month after I'd given him my...err...innocence, I went away for the weekend for a family obligation. He took someone else's innocence (not kidding). And just like that it was over. I was humiliated and embarrassed. But for whatever reason I still let him take me to the prom and de-innocence me some more...in a car...that wasn't his or mine...in my prom gown...SIGH (um...self-esteem issues in teenage girls is a REAL effing problem -_- )

I bring all this up to say...beyond the fact my high school boyfriend was an immature, vagina-hungry douche bag who told me he loved me to get what he wanted, I think the downfall of our relationship was we spent waaaay too much time together. I mean who *really* wants to be with some needy clingy girl who has NO LIFE? Too much of anything can turn something so good into getting cheated on and going back for mediocre sex.

Too much of anything...even something you love is bad. Too much rain? You get traumatizing tornadoes that kill people and destroy people's lives (I'm looking at YOU Tuscaloosa tornado). I still feel a certain kind of way in rain storms. Something I loved turned bad. And now with this damn bar exam: too much law. I wake up at 6:30AM and read the law ALL DAMN DAY. And I'm sick of it. If I never have to write the words, "Under Tennessee law" again it'll be too soon. And to think, after I conquer this beast in about 2 weeks...I get to do it all again in February to get my Alabama license. FML.

Too much of anything...SMH. Meanwhile, I just Google'd culinary school. I think I'll become a professional chef, win Chopped 6 times and pay off my law school loans (even though I'll probably be an additional $100,000 in debt from culinary school). Sounds like a solid plan, no?

Author's Note: I know I sound like a whiny bitch-baby and I am incredibly thankful to have completed law school, secured gainful employment and am quite excited to start the next phase of my life. But the bar exam can officially suck my dick. Hmph.