Shut the Hell Up, Frank!

Frank my classmate and 'loyal' reader has commented on a few posts that I am 'pessimistic about relationships' I resent this statement (and question Frank's 'loyalty').

I am not a pessimistic person. But I am real. You have to be. It's 2009. The days of our mothers have come and gone. This time in 1979 my mother was approached by a tall man with a killer smile who would go on to be her baby-daddy and her husband going on 30 years.

While many women still head to college (and even law school) with hopes of acquiring her MRS degree, my mother, despite her traditional/conservative nature, did not raise her girls to be that way. {Praise the Lord}.

It's hard to be a 'modern' woman. It seems like we're never enough. We're indoctrinated with the idea that we must build ourlives around the wants/needs of a man and his future children {consummate.mother.whore}. If you "chose" career over family you're a "bad" wife or mother. If you stay at home you're weak and a "bad" example for your daughters. {This all assumes you can even find a man to marry and have kids with}.

We live in a society that still asks women to be its backbone and yet remain silent. In 2008, Katie Couric asked a certain VP candidate if she knew any famous Supreme Court cases and yet never questioned a certain president who was "misunderestimated". We could handle Bush being a f*cking idiot but not Sarah Palin? Face it, a male's intelligence would never have been so blatantly assaulted by the "liberal gotcha media". [SIDE NOTE: Lord, PLEASE let Sarah Palin run for President in 2012 so she can give us more juciy sound bites and Tina Fey fresh material]

In a world that sees professional women remain single later and later in life (particularly African-American women) we're faced with a few options [few of which are appealing]:

1. Marry young, wrong, and stupid
2. wait for Mr. Right
3. ...keep waiting...
4. accept the idea marriage might not be in your future

Frank and I have discussed this. I've accepted I might be alone for the duration (fabulous women are single all the time). The idea of being alone used to weigh on me heavily, constricting my breathing and casuing great panic. The panic has ceased and my thoughts have turned to: "GET A GRIP, GIRL!" I have made a pact with myself to consciously go against what I was taught--either consciously or subconsciously--about my place in this world [that life would be less without a male mate].

I love my Mom, lord knows I do, but while she values my education/career prosepects she still constantly wonders/asks WHY her daughters are still single. I rebuke this question. Yes, I still get lonely [Who doesn't want companionship?]. Yes, I get *cough* frisky, but those things or the lack thereof won't make or break THIS woman's life.

I'm not pessimistic. I'm realistic. And I've made a decision to work on me--which has largely been the theme of my last few posts. I honestly believe doing so will open so many doors both professionally and personally. I think its easy for Frank to find me pessimistic: we're facing two completely different futures. And that's okay.  I'm a perpetual singleton. He's one step from being engaged to a beautiful future doctor that he loves. His future is mighty bright!

So Frank, love you dear, but shut it!