Warning: this post is VERY RANDOM. Very much so "stream of consciousness"...
Since when did being beautiful become a substitute for being a good person of substance? I’m not asking this question to be facetious, I’m dead serious. Lately I’ve been surrounded by shallow people who have spent a lifetime with people doing them a disservice: SOMEONE has convinced them that their shortcomings in the personality department can somehow be fixed by being “cute”. So not the case, my dears.
Now before this post is written off as an “Akili-is-in-hater-mode” post, let me clarify. There’s nothing wrong with being beautiful. My mommy is beautiful—and not in an “I-have-to-think-she’s-beautiful-cause-she’s-my-mom” kind of way. She’s REALLY gorgeous. Just like fatness, skinniness, or intelligence, being beautiful is a fact of life. I know a lot of beautiful people. A lot of my friends are beautiful and take lots of pride in their appearance. But that’s not why I’m their friend. **Shocker: They’re actually GOOD people with personalities, morals, opinions, layers. [Shocking I know].
But lately I’ve encountered people—both men and women, but more so women—who believe that it’s okay to be stupid or its okay to be an asshole simply because they’re aesthetically pleasing. So, I’ve been pondering the question—is physical beauty a virtue?
I honestly don’t know the answer to this question. We live in a society that uplifts the beautiful people. Pretty people and ugly people alike are both bamboozled into believing that there’s worth in beauty. In one of my favorite books, The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison writes: “It had occurred to Pecola some time ago that if her eyes, those eyes that held the pictures, and knew the sights-if those eyes of hers were different, that is to say, beautiful, she herself would be different.” Is that the kind of world that we live in—if you’re beautiful doors are opened to you that are systematically shut and locked for others? Can somebody change their world just by being pretty?
This weekend Noni and I went to go see Chris Rock’s new film “Good Hair” and as is pretty obvious from the title, Rock spent a lot of time talking about how long straight hair is largely considered “good hair” in the black community. While those around me have always told me I have “good hair” and if their hair was as “good” as mine they’d cut it all off, too, I’ve experienced this “good hair” phenomenon in other ways, too—I’m largely considered more beautiful when I have long, straight hair than when my hair is short. Don’t get me wrong, people like my short haircut, but the second it gets a little length to it and I get it straightened people go CRAZY—especially boys. Frank threw a hissy fit when I cut my hair back off. And while I’m convinced I look MORE beautiful with my hair short, it’s amazing what changes for me with the different hairstyles. A different kind of man hits on me when my hair is short versus long. I’m perceived as different. It’s crazy.
I bring this all up to say, I feel sorry for people who think being beautiful is what makes them people of worth. Because looks fade darling. Looks are such a surface thing—in the end they don’t mean shit. I mean, when its all said and done I’d rather be remembered for being kind, talented, and trustworthy than for being a “bad bitch”. I mean are people seriously remembered for being "cute"??? Seriously. I feel sorry for people who have been catered to and placated just because they’re cute, rather than taking the time to develop themselves into beautiful people. Because I know some people who are GORGEOUS. I mean drop dead beautiful. But as people, they suck. And while, guys talk about how hot they are, they also quickly demean them by pointing out their shortcomings in the personality department. Ever played "marry.f*ck.kill." with some guys friends? It's illuminating.
"Sweat pants. Hair tied. Chillin' with no makeup on. That's when you're the prettiest. I hope that you don't take it wrong." --Drake
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