Piscean Problems

Despite the fact that the author is probably some random person who doesn't know shit about the Zodiac, I follow @ZodiacFacts on Twitter. Typically, I despise his tweets about Pisces. Sounds to me like Mr. ZodiacFacts got his heart stomped on by some Piscean girl and now he has a vendetta. But I digress. Today, Mr. ZodiacFacts was SPOT ON with the Piscean observations and it got me thinking about my interpersonal relationship skills (or lack there of).

These three tweets are me in a nutshell. I'm not judgmental (no matter what Frank would have you believe) but I am observant and analytical. Maybe its the history major in me, maybe its somethings from childhood--but I am fascinated by why people do the things they do. I tend to believe a lot of answers lie in the things that are unsaid between two people. The problem? I tend to fill in the blanks of the "things unsaid" with what I think is being said. Bad idea.

Early this year, Frank and I were beefing. Correction: I was beefing alone. A (now seemingly) simple misunderstanding resulted in Frank and I interacting out of necessity but not out of friendship. I felt abandoned, ignored, pissed off and a host of other emotions shemotions. And when I feel unappreciated or whatever in a friendship, I shut down. I back off. I'm gone. In friendship (or even romantic relationships) I've never wanted to be a burden or an obligation and thus have adopted the "I'm-not-going-to-make-anyone-stay-where-they-don't-wanna-be" approach. Also because of fear of abandonment issues that are best left to another post, I am inclined to leave people before they can leave me. Again. I digress.

A simple misunderstanding resulted from my observations and (over)analyzing of things unsaid. I drew conclusions. (I was wrong) And right on schedule shut down.  So here we are, two friends, not communicating over..well...nothing. Luckily, with a little help from liquid courage (1.5 bottles of Jam Jar South African wine) I was able to confront Frank about our my issues and salvage a friendship.

Unfortunately, several other friendships come to mind that aren't salvageable. Too much analyzing has occurred. Too much over thinking. Too many attempts to understand people's motives (without actually asking said people--or believing them when they explained). And all this "too much" just lead to distrust. And while I have a true-to-Pisces compassionate heart, for me, once distrust comes, this only opens the door for dishonesty and anger and the friendship is dead in the water. End of story.

So the life lesson? Stop thinking so damn much. True, people can be really shitty. If your instincts tell you someone is shitty, proceed with caution. When they prove to be shitty, let them go. People CAN be fake/dishonest/bitches/assholes/users/[insert negative adjective]. But people can also be amazing. I have to find a way to understand people, to understand situations, and to address situations without assuming I know an unsaid truth. I am an excellent thinker...need to work on being a better listener.