If u typ3 lik3 dis...

I cannot take you seriously.

I started my last first day of law school on 1.11.2011. I went to the bookstore. Got all my books for all my classes for under $400. The boy working in the bookstore flirted with me. And just like riding a bike, I gloriously flirted back. He asked for my number. He caught me in a good mood and wasn't atrocious-looking so I gave him my number.

About two weeks go by and I never hear from bookstore boy. I, honestly, forgot all about him, until a cough sent me into the store in search of cough drops. I see Bookstore Boy and he asks me how I've been. We engage in small talk for a few minutes and then he asks me, "So, you don't like texting?" I laugh and inform, Bookstore Boy I'm not fundamentally opposed to texting. He explains he'd texted me twice with no response. I let him know that I didn't get any texts from him (while thinking, um, why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me). Although I'm slightly annoyed, I re-give him my phone number and go on my merry way.

So this weekend, BB texts me...and its bad. Really bad. First, from years of having guy friends and watching them treat some girls well, others not so well, I'm weary of any guy who chooses to initially communicate with me exclusively through text message. Secondly, I cannot and will not take you seriously if you communicate with me via what I call "text talk." You are a grown man. You (should) know how to type a complete English sentence. And I need you to do so. Here's a sample of the wooing I was subjected to:

BB: Hey sweetie
Me: Um. Who is this?
BB: Bookstore Boy from the law school.
Me: Oh, hi. You might have wanted to lead with that, LOL
BB: Oh, my bad. Ive bn wntn 2 tlk 2 u 4 a while
Me: ...[I'm so taken aback by the "text talk" I don't know what to say, so finally I say:] And now you are...
BB: So wuts your name, again? [I've DIED at this point]
Me: ...Adrienne
BB: That's wuts up. So y arent u n relationship u dnt have time or somethin?
Me: That's a weird question--I'm just not in one. No particular reason. Why aren't YOU in a relationship--or are you? [after a 10 minute pause, during which I call a friend to relay the TERRIBLE texting I'm enduring]
BB: Im not thats y I wanna get 2 kno u
[I simply stopped texting at this point because I cant...]

 Y'all. Like seriously? Nothing about this guy indicated he texted/typed like an illiterate middle school-er. Not only are you unnecessarily replacing NECESSARY vowels in words/sentences, but you aren't talking about shit. You are 25-years-old and cannot have a f*cking conversation. Get off my phone! Do I need to get a writing sample before giving my number out in the future? I'm apparently not cut out for dating if this is what it means. Hopefully this was just a bad case...and now I have to ignore this boys atrocious text messages until he gets the point that its NOT going to happen. Ever.