The other day I was curled up in bed with my uncle who I had bamboozled into watching He's Just Not That Into You. We're watching it and Justin Long's character tells the annoying "I know nothing about men"-girl that women torture themselves with men who simply aren't interested in them for the thrill of it--basically for the drama.
After my winter break behavior, I must admit, I agree with Justin on that one. I have been calling Pseudo Boyfriend all winter break. Sometimes he calls me back. Sometimes he doesn't. Whenever he doesn't call me back in what I feel is an appropriate time, I get upset and swear I'm not calling him again. But then he'll call or text and I'm right back where I started. I know I said I'd sworn him off several posts ago, but you know how us girls are...[sigh] As Frank would say, we're crazy.
But I think I've hit the final straw. He didn't call me for Christmas. Not a call. Not a text. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. He ALWAYS calls me for Christmas. He told me he loved me for the first time on Christmas. Christmas is Jesus's freaking birthday?!?! No phonecall? And as the book/movie says: "if he's NOT calling you, he's just NOT that into you."
He calls me on Dec. 26 (the first day of Kwanzaa) to wish me a Belated Merry Christmas/Happy Kwanzaa. I'm busy with my family so we don't talk long. We haven't talked since. Despite 2 phone calls and 2 text messages sent by ME. I've been hella busy [excuse the use of "hella" I'm in Cali...gotta fit in with the locals]. I still MAKE time to call/text him. Why? Because despite my better/wiser judgment I'm still into him--I'm still clinging to hope [which at this point has become FALSE hope].
I will admit, part of the appeal is the "will he/won't he" call me. Part of the appeal is the drama. But the lack of Christmas calling has made it apparent. He's just NOT that INTO me. And honestly, as I've blogg'd before I don't think I even really WANT him to be into me. He should be into wifey and wifey alone. I'm not up to be anyone's sidechick.
Yes, I think women obsess over unavailable or uninterested guys for the thrill--its a self-torture of sorts. But for me and PB...the thrill is definitely gone...
:changes PB's name in my phone to DO NOT CALL OR TEXT:
1 comment:
i love this post because I was in the same dilemma with my banker. I thought, if he doesn't call me on Christmas, I know there is no hope for us. (fortunately, he did.) but I got that resolve because my very own PB from senior year of college, neglected to attend my birthday (even though his sister was there) AND didn't bother to wish me happy b-day on any of the possible mediums (no call, no text, no wall post, no "oh hey, PB says to tell you happy bday.) needless to say--- I have NEVER spoken to him again.
sometimes those sort of things really say a lot about the person, and I am getting to the point where i refuse to allow any mother fuckers under my skin..... we're way to fly for that shit... ;-)
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